After School Transitions

After school can be a tough transition — kids often “hold it together” all day and then release all their pent-up emotions once they’re in a safe space. Helping a dysregulated child means focusing on connection, regulation, and gentle structure. Here are some ideas you can try:

1. Create a Predictable Transition Routine

Snack + Drink: Offer a nourishing, protein-rich snack and water right away. Blood sugar dips can fuel meltdowns.
Quiet Arrival Ritual: Instead of asking questions immediately (“How was your day?”), give a calming signal like “Welcome home. Let’s get cosy.”

2. Allow for Decompression

Sensory Reset: Some kids need movement (jumping on a trampoline, swinging, running), while others need calm (weighted blanket, dim lights, quiet music).
Screen-Free Calm: Avoid overstimulating TV or games at first. Instead, try colouring, Lego building, or reading.
Safe Space: Have a “chill corner” with pillows, stuffed animals, or fidgets where they can go without judgment.

3. Help with Emotional Release

Name + Validate: “It looks like your body had a big day. It makes sense you feel upset.”
Offer Choices: “Do you want to talk, draw, or run around to get your feelings out?”
Co-Regulation: Sit nearby, breathe slowly, or hum softly — kids often sync to your calm.

4. Gentle Physical Regulation

Heavy work: carrying groceries, pushing a laundry basket, wall pushes.
Movement: bike ride, dance party, yoga poses, or a walk.
Calming input: massage hands/feet, warm bath, or weighted lap pad.

5. Delay Demands

Homework, chores, and questions about their day can usually wait until after the child has re-centred.
Set a “transition window” (e.g., 20–30 minutes) where expectations are low and they just recharge.

6. Connection Before Correction

Play a short game together, tell a silly story, or cuddle if they’re open to it.
Kids often need to feel seen and safe before they can share about their day or move into structured tasks.

For the High-Energy, “Explosive” Child

Goal: Release pent-up energy safely, then settle.

Arrival (5 min)
- Quick hug or fist bump (if they want).
- Offer water + protein snack (string cheese, apple + peanut butter (be mindful of allergies).
Movement Break (10–15 min)
- Jump on trampoline, ride bike, or run in the garden.
- If indoors: pillow crash pad, animal walks (bear crawl, crab walk).
Transition to Calm (10 min)
- Stretching, yoga poses, or deep-breathing game (blow bubbles, pretend to blow out birthday candles).
- Weighted blanket or calm corner with fidgets.
Connection (5–10 min)
- Play a quick game together (UNO, LEGO, drawing side by side).
- Only after this window: start homework or chores.

For the Withdrawn, “Shut Down” Child

Goal: Gentle reconnection and emotional safety.

Arrival (5 min)
- Greet warmly but avoid big questions.
- Offer comfort snack + favourite cosy drink.
Quiet Reset (10–15 min)
- Curl up with a weighted blanket, listen to soft music, or read together.
- Offer a stuffed animal or calming sensory toy.
Creative Outlet (10–15 min)
- Drawing, colouring, or journaling.
- Invite (but don’t push) them to share about their day through art/story.
Connection (5–10 min)
- Gentle one-on-one time: snuggle, talk if they want, or share something funny.

For the “Mixed” Child (sometimes bouncy, sometimes tired)

Goal: Offer a choice of regulation strategies.

Arrival (5 min)
- Snack + hydration.
- Ask: “Do you feel like moving your body or resting your body right now?”
Choice Time (10–15 min)
- Movement option: jump rope, playground, dance party.
- Rest option: cosy reading nook, dim lights, music.
Structured Calming Activity (10–15 min)
- Playdough, puzzles, LEGOs, or building blocks (something hands-on and low-pressure).
Connection (5–10 min)
- Talk about one funny/interesting thing from the day.
- Or do a short shared ritual (like “rose, thorn, bud” — one good thing, one hard thing, one thing to look forward to).

Summary: find what works for your child and your family to help them feel more regulated after a challenging day of school. We don't always have the answers, but we keep trying so our children feel seen, heard and their feelings validated.